I feel so bad leaving you guys hanging....I jumped back on Instagram because I really don't have to engage...but blogging is different.
It's been a little over a month and I am still struggling with overwhelming sadness. I am haunted [as I knew I would be] with the visual of her last 2 days. It was gut wrenching and not a good thing for an "empath" to experience.
Which is causing my nightmares at night and not being able to sleep.
I know I am not the only one who has experienced the loss of a loved one.....and my heart breaks for all of you that share this kind of heartbreak with me.
I miss her so darn much....everyday when I walk Cami around the block I go past her house and it brings me to tears. She was so amazing and about 400 people came to her funeral which blew me away....so many people telling me how she changed their life.
She was also the peace keeper in the family....never taking sides with anyone.
So....I have gone back to work although I am definitely not running at 100%. I will try to catch you up with some of my projects!
The first one I will share is one that I have been working on for quite a while....she is the most patient client I have....for real. I have also know her for over 20 years.....
This is her foyer and we got the rug a while back....then I brought in 2 of her DR chairs to extend the chest because it was too lonely.....
She actually found the mirror and and picked out some art that she liked so I went over and got it all hung for her....
I don't know about you but dang that antique mirror just makes it! All art and the mirror were from Huff Harrington....a beautiful store here in Buckhead.
I am going to try and get back on a regular routine....but I have to tell you sometimes I feel this heaviness that does prevent me for engaging.
Also....thank all of you so much for the sweet comments...I read them all and was so comforted.
Shaystillsadbutmanaging
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25 comments
Sherry, you're in such a sacred space right now, and the ache is a reminder of the strength of love. What a miracle we can experience such bonds and connection for a short time. Because I am no stranger to despair, I have had much time to ponder it deeply. And I have begun to conceptualize grief and sadness as a heavy hand of God upon me, pressing me closer to the earth. When all seems dark, I try to remember what I am experiencing is intense blinding light, somehow protecting me, somehow holding me, somehow bringing wholeness and something new. For we can never go back, but what awaits us after this life is surely rich with purpose and glory. Bless you as you grieve. Bless the bond loving sisters share. Bless the space you share with Cami. Bless your talents and work in creating beautiful backdrops to bring comfort and life.
Good to hear from you Sherry! Do what you can and be gentle on your self. Your fans out here in blogland care about you and understand the need to process such terrible grief. We look forward to your posts only when you have the emotional wherewithal to share them. Take care.
Hi Sherry,
Yes, I've been in that space. It is like a vacuum. And especially after having gone through those past weeks with her, please honor the rest that you NEED. It doesn't have a timetable.
I can recommend a beautiful FB group- Megan Devine runs it, called Refuge in Grief. She has written a book called "It's Ok Not to Be OK," which speaks to loss, of which you know there are many kinds. May your going be beautiful.
So glad to see you back. Many prayers were said for you and your sisters. Take time to grieve as you need it.
I am crying reading this right now. Why do things like this happen to really good people? A family member died of pancreatic cancer three months ago and a friend was just diagnosed with the same. We just keep asking why……why????? God bless anyone dealing with this situation.
Dear Sherry, Holding you close to my heart in your grief. You cannot know how special a space this has been for me as I have navigated difficult times. Please breath in deeply the love and support being sent your way. Take all of the time you need, allowing yourself the space and grace to move forward whenever you are ready. We will be here. Your talents are abundant and your beautiful work shared here is inspiring. That vignette is gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo
I am glad you are back to the blog. I do like the mirror, with chairs, the lamp and the art. Such a nice arrangement with the rug. I know how you are feeling. I lost my Mother, my best friend, last November. I was the caregiver and the only child. Friends and family made the difference for me. I felt their love, their help, and their support. My thoughts are with you.
Sherry, I am so sorry for the loss of your sister…I wish I had the words to comfort you but know there are many hearts out there a little heavier as we feel your sadness…give yourself grief and know that one day the memories will bring real comfort and what a blessing you had in your sister. Sending hugs and prayers.
Sharon
Well Sherry, I meant to say give yourself Grace not grief…hopefully that little oops will make you smile….
Sharon
Take your time. We'll still be here for you.💚
You are so talented, Sherry, even in the depths of sadness. Love what you did here.
Wish I could give you a hug. Thanks so much for posting.
No apologies necessary - just take your time and grieve the way you need. Prayers to you🙏
We are so glad that you are back blogging. I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with the loss of your sister. We all have you in our thoughts and prayers. Loved the impact the mirror made in your client's foyer. It is so lovely now.
No one who gives a whit about other human beings will begrudge you time to heal. I have lost my parents and my sister, but not in the same manner. I can only imagine that as hard as that was for you it gave your sister such comfort to have you near. Be kind to yourself. I hope getting back to work helps you focus on the other many ways you bring joy to the lives of those you touch.
Sending condolences and healing thoughts to you and your family.
Sherry, A part of me was so worried about you (I didn't think to check IG - my bad), but part of me knew just what you were going through. Grief is debilitating - like a big heavy wet blanket thrown on top of you that makes it hard and tiring to get out from under. Grief is sneaky - just when you think you're going to be able to get through the next hour or day without crying, it sneaks up and reminds you of a memory and the pain creeps back in. Grief is forever - but thankfully, it morphs over time into something less sharp, something softer and sweeter. I do believe in that saying that, "grief is just love with nowhere to go." I'm so glad you have Cami to love and to help you through this. No one will every replace your sister, but there are many buckets you can pour your love into.
Sherry, I’m sure even your most ardent fans would rather have you focus on yourself, even if it means missing your wonderful blog posts a while longer. Do whatever feels best right now and focus on healing. If that means posting to distract yourself, do it. If you need to crawl into a hole for a while, do that. We will still be there when you return and will be thinking of you in the meantime. I read a suggestion related to the visual of a loved one passing in a grief-related blog post. The writer kept a favorite picture of his wife when she was healthy and vibrant with him at all times. Whenever he found himself thinking about her final days, he’d take out the picture and look at it. That picture, and the memories of better times, helped him rewire his brain and displace the later picture. Hope this helps. Sending wishes for a better tomorrow.
Sherry,
I'm so sad for you. Just give yourself time. I lost my husband of 48 years on August 5th and I wake up every morning thinking he's next to me. My do helps a little, I can't imagine if I didn't have her.
I hope you can find some peace soon.
Karen
Oops, that's "dog" not do.
Karen
I recently heard this on trauma and grief. Time cannot cure trauma and grief but it does soften the edges. Be gentle with yourself.
When your sister needed you the most you were right by her side. It was evident how much love was given to her. May she rest in peace.
The Lady
(Nancy)
Sherry, I think the suggestion of haing a picture of happier times with your sister is a good one. After my Mother died I visualized her in her last days and it was painful but in time that difficult image dissapeared and I could remember her during healthier times. My hope is that this will be true for you.
I will continue to pray for you. Take all the time you need.
We feel your loss, and are saddened to the bone, too. Take your time during this difficult grieving process. Nothing is to be rushed. Those things in life that are too hard to do can wait. Sending love and support.
I had nightmares and sleeping issues for a solid when my mom died last year. I’m an empath too and could not engage. COVID was a bit of a silver lining in that everyone was shut down and I could grieve in private. Take all the time you need. Don’t push yourself to put yourself out there. It will only bite you in the backside later. May God bring you moments of comfort and help you lament well Sherry. Pamela
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