My neighbors backyard...or as I like to refer to her as "the bitch next door".....
Let me explain.
I have lived in my house for about 19 years. We were the first couple to renovate on our street so I was pretty smug about my home.
Then THEY move in about 5 years later. She hires my favorite builder to renovate. That pissed me off.
Now here is where the trouble begins..... she hired another designer to work with. WHAT???? Does she not know the "talent" that lives next door to her????
AND she proceeds to build a nice big bad ass house. Making mine look like Barbies play house. Secretly I still begrudge her but that is her insecurity to need the "bigger house". Whatever.
Don't get me wrong. We drink wine on her front porch and all is forgiven. Then she built a screened in porch with a fireplace.
"What" I said to her...did she rob a bank, is it her life's purpose to just keep pushing our "neighborship"?
Well...just recently I noticed a lot of activity going on in her backyard [although I can't see what is because of bushes].
I felt my blood pressure rising every time I would see her walking her dogs and she would say "you need to come see what we have done". I would say through clenched teeth...yeah sure
bitch "neighbor" [our pet name for each other].
begged invited me to come by Friday night for a bottle glass of wine.
Here is what I saw.
Are you serious. You did this just to see the look on my face? It is not quite finished yet...some awesome cool thing to be done to the concrete wall...I stopped listening.
Nice organic garden on one side. When she is out of town I will let my dogs in there to pee on it.
Of course..... a water feature.
I am starting to feel real hatred towards her.
Wildflowers. Wild this bi....atch.
The fireplace.....my wine which I am about to toss in her face.
Did I mention the swing?
AND...this is where we sat while I told her why I resented her so damn much.
Oh we tossed our heads back and laughed. All the while I pictured her losing all of her teeth at an early age. Or something like that.
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and stumbled home to take out a frozen pizza for dinner. I am sure she served something worthy of a spread in Martha Stewart on that f*#@**.....back porch.
I will be pouting all weekend.
Happy Memorial Day.
Sha poo poo.