THOUGHTS ON MY LIFE RIGHT NOW







Y'all I hate to be this way....I don't have much to share right now as I try to dig myself out of this black hole I have been in for the last week.  Some of the things that have been thrown at me have brought me to my knees....with these thoughts running through my mind ......what the heck did I do to deserve what feels like hatred from someone I was with for 30 years?  A need to punish.....I am at a loss......you win.  


These events have been extremely difficult for me.  Some of you have known me for 10 years and I pride myself in being able to see the light...and the humor in life.  My sisters and close friends would say I am like Pollyanna...seeing life through rose colored glasses.

I know it's bad when I can't even get excited about design.  Don't get me wrong....if I have heard this once I have heard it a thousand times....especially this week....that things will get better.  I get it but dang right now......I am having a hard time just pushing forward.

So many thoughts running through my head....so many scenarios that maybe I could have changed...should have changed but didn't.  I swear being a creative is a curse.  All of you practical people.....you left brain....logical humans who can see situations so much better than the dreamers....I envy you.


I can't even describe what I am feeling because I am sure somebody would send the authorities over here to check on me:)   The word  despair comes to mind. 
I am not writing this for sympathy....it's not like I don't know I am loved by my family and friends and by many of you that I have never met but have lifted me up these last months.  I guess I am just mourning....and I understand that just has to run it's course....right?

All I can say is hurry the hell up because I want the joy back in my life.

Thanks for reading....appreciating....commenting and sticking with me for this phase in my life.
  
This is me....raw.....what I am going through and I am sure many of you have been there.  In fact I am positive I am not alone in these post divorce feelings.  I mean there have been books written about it....and movies made.

You will be able to feel me.....as I try to climb towards the light.

I promise this will not become a blog about my life....heck no.   This is "one and done"..... I WILL BE BACK TO DESIGN AND FASHION.

Yesterday I killed a spider running like a thief in my closet and I actually chuckled  because as everyone who is afraid of spiders has said.....leave this closet....lock it up and never return.

There is still some laughter deep down in there:)





#lookingformynewnormal












FASHION






I knew some of you would ask for tips on getting the finishes from the faux painter......and I wish I could help you out on that.  Unfortunately he won't divulge his secrets.....since that is his trade.  I know you get it:)

My advice is to research it on Google....you know you can find anything if you give it a little effort!

If you have been following me on Instagram then you know I have been posting my #outfitoftheday and it's been fun getting y'alls comments!  Here is the deal....my first love before design was always fashion....and when I look at what I wear it kind of reminds me of my design style.  Tailored....not fussy and fairly neutral.

The last few days I have been working on a fashion post for you.  I have tried to stick to basics.....things that can be used over and over again with adding maybe one new thing or 2.

So we start with white jeans....which are now definitely a staple in most wardrobes!

I gave you 2 options for shoes....if I wore this all day I would opt for the sneakers but maybe for a client meeting I would throw on the red mules!  I always like to have a canvas bag to carry samples and such in.






The other day I posted how I wore these camo pants on Instagram.  I got them at the Gap and they are really comfy!

I love throwing in a little pink....the thought being it adds a feminine touch to this look!



Back to white jeans again but with a different twist!  And Lord I love a denim shirt....for just about any occasion!  






This whole outfit started with the belt!  I love it:)



 


Last up is almost a uniform for me....and perfect for a day like today in Atlanta.....rain!  I gave you a choice with the shoes because I thought these plaid booties were so cute!  And the fact that they are black and white....well all the better.







I bet if you look in your closet you have most of these things and that makes it easy to update like I said with a couple of new things....

Just a few words about yesterday.  It was the longest day ever.....11 hours.  I have lot's of thoughts about it and will write more when I am not so emotionally drained. 

But today is a new day and I am off to workout so I can feel better about me....then an incredibly busy day at work so I can keep my mind occupied.

Shayprocessing




BEFORE AND AFTER











It shocks me to say this....but we have been friends for 10 years now....that is how long I have been blogging!  Thank you for reading and commenting.  Thank you for listening when things have been great and not so great......

I also want to say that I appreciate every sweet comment about my brother in law.  Cancer touches so many of our lives....and I heard from a lot of you about your own stories.  

Bless you all.


Yes the last 6 months have been a struggle but like I always say....nobody said life was fair.  So....you just keep pushing forward and that is what I am trying to do.

OK....I promised we would get back to decorating and we are.  A few post back I blogged about a project [see it here] that I got involved with through a friend.  We were going to re-use many things she already had.

I have a few updates for you today.....nobody loves a before and after better than me:)

Let's review....the wallpaper, the fabrics....the curtain rods [before] and the trim.





You ready.....


Remember there were 2 bedside chest that needed a little updating.....So much better...





This one needed a dark top to match the other side....


It looks so much better!



The one above had a greenish tone to it so he fixed that and added a little gold to the hardware!



We wanted to glam up the doors a little....



He also did a little something to the hardware!



She found an oval ottoman at a consignment store....

It received some gorgeous Schumacher cut velvet fabric....


She is ready for her closeup now!


Re-using this chair from the living room....


He touched up the existing curtain hardware.  Traverse rods would have been very expensive to replace and I am not mad at how they look now!!








Again some beautiful Schumacher wool fabric with some pretty trim!





The curtains frame the windows so nicely don't cha think?


The ceiling has just a hint of pink....

OK are you ready for the wallpaper?  

Game changer!



This is the sitting area and it looks like a jewel box now!


The beautiful Charles Stewart Bromley sofa covered in a pretty Schumacher velvet!


It's not all styled up yet but here ya go.....

I. Am. Obsessed. With. This. Paper.


I love how moody this space is.....

Still waiting for the bed and pillows!

OK....Monday is the day of my mediation.  To say I am a ball of nerves is an understatement.  Whew....she said we could be there 6-8 hours....I think I would rather have a colonoscopy and a root canal on the same day.  Gah.

Every time I think about it I get the same feeling in my stomach as you get when the roller coaster gets to the top and then starts barreling down to the bottom.....

OK....enough whining!

PSA.....I found out that you can schedule a scope when you have a colonoscopy!  Check out ecan.org

#bloggingfriendsforlifepeople

Shaywarrior


A LOVE STORY








I have shared my personal life with you guys for 10 years now.....good times and bad.  Recently I wrote about my own struggles....but that will seem small compared with what I am sharing today.  This is something many of you have had to face.


Let me start from the beginning with a love story.


I think you all remember the One Room Challenges that I have done for my sisters.  The very first one was for "the Bunny" who is 2 years younger than me.  

Maggie is married to Brad.  They met over 30 years ago when they were both Flight Attendants and it was a whirlwind romance!  Bradley Virgil a confirmed bachelor met Patricia Jackson and that was it!  He nicknamed her Magnolia [he was a California boy] and she has been "Maggie" ever since!


Look at that smile.

They got married on Valentines Day....no hoopla...just them.



He just adored her from the beginning.  Brad always said that she made him laugh.....really laugh.


They had Taylor right away and I know everyone says this but Brad was 100% in with having kids.  He made the snacks.....did the homework....a very hands on Dad.



I am not going to say there weren't hard times.  As everyone knows marriage is not easy....add kids to the mix and you just try to navigate through the rough patches relying on your love.  It worked for them.  They came out the other side still passionate about each other.


Caitlin came along 2 years later....



I was always envious of the love they had for each other and their kids.  It was so strong.....



Taylor got married first and gave our family the first grandchild [Lucas]  2 years ago.  Brad and Maggie could not have been more in love.



Caitlin got married last summer....

Brad and Maggie celebrating that wonderful day!

The kids are grown and gone....
They fly together....



A year ago Brad retired to enjoy life.  He lived to take care of Maggie....did the grocery shopping, work in the yard, cooking and play golf.  That's what you do when you have worked hard all your life.  Time to relax.

It started with heartburn 6 or so months ago.  The kind that a whole bottle of Tums provides no relief. And everyday you think I need to get to the doctor to see what this is all about.

PSA.  Do it.

The appointment 3 weeks ago was for a scope and the diagnosis was supposed to be anything but what came next.

It was a Tuesday morning....I was home when Maggie called me.  I heard her say the words Cancer.....we both sobbed.  No this could not be.  Not Brad.  

Not Brad and Maggie. Not now.



Esophageal cancer...stage three.

So many doctors appointments....surgeons, oncologist, nutritionists.....it is overwhelming.

You hear words like staging, spreading, mapping, chemo, radiation.....ports....feeding tubes.....and HOPE.

Hope.....it seems like such a soft word when you put it like that.  I mean wish, goal, plan, dream is not what anyone wants to hear.  That is like saying we are offering rainbows and unicorns.

Suddenly sofas and curtain treatments don't feel that important.

Brad....we are with you.  How trite does that sound?  
You are the one who has to do the hard work. 

You were one of the first to show up when I came home 5 months ago to my husband being gone. 


I can't even begin to put in words how I feel....how mad I am at this.  This is the fight of your life my friend.


I love you.....I love both of you so damn much.  
I'm praying for more time with your special girl and.....Caitlin and Taylor.  To play golf.  To garden.  To take trips.  To live. 

PSA.  The doctor said that everyone talks about colonoscopies for preventing colon cancer but they never recommend scopes....another easy procedure.  Don't put it off.

LoveSherry


















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